She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
