i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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