Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
