i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
