Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
