I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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