their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
