Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
