you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
