I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
