Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
