Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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