ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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