did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
