just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
