I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
