That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
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I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
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Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back