Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.