We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...