she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast