Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
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well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
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She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?