I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
