Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
