Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
