I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
