he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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