Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
