Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
