weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
