I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
