To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My vagina is very pro this idea
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
