Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
