we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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