Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
two words...techno handjob
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize