it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
