she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
