Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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