heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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