My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
