everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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