why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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