is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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