she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
