Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Panties = found
Randomize
