So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
