Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
