I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
