apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
