i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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