Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
