I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
