Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
