Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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