Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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