can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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