Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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