$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
