wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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