I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
