And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
