As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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